Surviving My Past Because of My Future

  It’s tempting to avoid spending time processing painful emotions.  Most of us tend to steer clear of pain at all costs.  But when emotions go unprocessed,  they get shoved down where they lay bubbling, ready to ooze out at unexpected times and in uninvited ways.   Because I was only eight when I was diagnosed with a visual impairment, I didn’t have the cognitive or emotional intelligence to process my new reality and work to understand how it would impact my life. So, I became very good at living behind my circumstances.  In all honesty, I hated my visual impairment.  Being different was humiliating, frustrating, and made me feel like damaged goods.  I exerted a lot of energy hiding my differences, trying to feel competent, and looking like I was in control.  With such a view of myself, you can imagine that it would be nearly impossible for me to feel fearfully and wonderfully made as Psalm 139:14 claims.  People who tried to inspire me with these words only left me angry wondering

If you’re human, it’s probably safe to assume that you’ve made some pretty  bad decisions in your life.  I know I have. Bad decisions include everything from lying to our parents, failing to study for a test, hanging out with irresponsible friends, choosing the wrong college or profession, getting involved in an unhealthy  relationship, wasting money on unnecessary items, to buying a house that wasn’t a good investment.   Bad decisions aren’t hard to come by.  And we often don’t see them until it’s too late.   Not all decisions are created equal.  Some are have a stronger impact than others.  I bet it wouldn’t take long for you to name what you consider your worst decision ever. The good news about the above list is that they can all be repaired or overcome with some amount of work, effort, and time.  Generally, we have the opportunity to fix our mistakes.  That is unless the outcome is fatal.  There are no second chances when it comes to death.   My son, Dalton, made unmistakably the