Surviving My Past Because of My Future

I have lived with a visual impairment for forty-one years now.  Not a minute goes by that I forget it is a shadow that never leaves my side.  But because my visual limitations are often invisible to those around me, it is not uncommon for people I meet to have no idea-unless I tell them.  And explaining the disease takes time, so avoiding a detailed explanation is typically most comfortable and convenient. The past three years have taught me about more than just grief.   My willingness to go to  great lengths to appear competent and to look “like everyone else” dominated me.  I never wanted to be weak or dependent on others.  But when my life instantaneously spun out of control after Dalton went to Heaven, all the work I had achieved over the years unraveled in the blink of an eye.  Suddenly, I didn’t have it all together.  In fact, I was coming apart at the seams.  Child loss made me profoundly different  from others because I only knew one person who had lost a child to suicide.  G